


See Through You

by educmoron



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: 3mix but 2yeon exists, F/F, I feel bad for them, Jeongyeon is dense, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Requited Unrequited Love, Unrequited Love, dahmochaeng chaos, denser than dense, how can one be so dense, its just chaos everywhere, jihyo 2yeon third wheel, just entirely chaos all around, squint for song references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:55:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28445763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/educmoron/pseuds/educmoron
Summary: Nayeon, the campus crush of Jeongyeon's university, seems too good to be true.Jeongyeon continues to believe this for three years, until one day, she's finally face-to-face with Nayeon, instantly regretting all the times she's ever said that the woman wasn't what people said she was.But, if all the rumors about Nayeon on the college confessions page are true, then there must be a catch somewhere else, right?orJeongyeon finds herself wanting to know more about Nayeon, despite only meeting around 5 minutes ago.
Relationships: Im Nayeon/Yoo Jeongyeon, Myoui Mina/Son Chaeyoung
Comments: 31
Kudos: 97





	1. crowded cafe

**Author's Note:**

> First fanfiction ever! I'm glad I got to write it about one of my favorite ships. I just love 2yeon's dynanic so much that I just *had* to write about it. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> –educmoron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you really think this was all just luck?" Jeongyeon asks without thinking. "Considering everything, isn't it more logical to say this was bound to happen?"

Jeongyeon has always wondered what love was like.

Of course, every girl wonders what love is like at some point in their lives, many even to the point where they plan out their dream wedding in advance, but that wasn't the case for Jeongyeon.

Instead, it's the requited attachment to someone that she really craves to know about. There's something about the _emotions_ one can feel when they're in a romantic relationship that was weirdly endearing to her. The ability to trust someone so much that it becomes second nature, and the yearning and longing and _genuine_ happiness unconditional love can give are concepts that Jeongyeon could never wrap her head around, no matter how hard she tried.

And boy, did she try.

For as long as she could remember, she's always loved the idea of knowing the "behind" of something. Analyzing how things are written, designed, _made_ , the intricate details were always something she admired.

However, one thing Jeongyeon's never gotten to analyze as much as she wanted – despite her constant efforts to, – are the things that are connected to emotion, something that's different from person to person. Something people tend to take at face-value.

Something that Jeongyeon was bad at.

For her, love – in any form – has always sounded so foreign. Trust has always sounded so foreign. Anything that involves opening up to other people _at all_ has always been foreign in her world.

Obviously, she has her own set of friends that she trusted and loved more than others, but it felt so distant from the unconditional love and overflowing happiness she saw in romance movies or read in books of the same genre.

So close, yet so far from her grasp.

That is, until she met Nayeon.

**IM NAYEON**. An acting course student in her fourth year of University, and quite possibly known as one of the most popular students there. It's said by her roommates that she receives love letters on the daily, sometimes even from people who didn't go to their school. Although there were rumors of her dating both guys and girls alike, it was never revealed if she had actually dated anyone for the past four years she's been here.

Nayeon was always called the "campus crush" of the school. That was most likely the start of her rise to popularity. The girl that's funny, pretty, cute, clingy, and basically anyone and everyone's dream girl.

Jeongyeon didn't believe this, however, it all sounded too good to be true. Another rumor from one of the many fanboys that adore her like Korea's top idol.

That is, until she saw her with her own eyes.

In a crowded cafe, sitting alone at a table for two trying to finish up an assignment that was given 3 weeks prior, Jeongyeon has probably had about 6 cups of coffee since her arrival a few hours ago. So when she feels a tap on her shoulder, she disregards it as her mind playing tricks on her, and continues on with her work.

When the tapping doesn't stop – instead quickening it's pace – was when Jeongyeon decided to turn around.

And boy, does Jeongyeon wish she turned around sooner.

What greeted her was a girl with flowy hair that ended on her shoulders, and glasses that complement said hair. She was wearing a blue sweater that wasn't quite her size, and holding what appears to be an iced coffee in her hand, and a laptop in the other.

Something about her made Jeongyeon's heart feel weird. Not like the pain that happens when you feel too anxious to even breathe, no, it was something more euphoric. Like all the time in the world stopped, and all she could focus on was the girl in front of her. She doesn't know what this feeling is, she's never experienced it before nor has she observed it from someone else.

For Jeongyeon, this feeling was entirely new.

But what exactly _is_ this feeling?

Jeongyeon makes a mental note to find out.

"Hey." She started, complete with a gummy smile and hypnotizing eyes that no one could possibly say no to.

Jeongyeon has probably never seen anyone that grabbed her attention more than her. Something about her round eyes, or her heart-shaped lips, or her annoyingly pretty face, drew her in. The details of her face seem oddly familiar, despite this being their first – and probably only – time meeting. Has she met her before? If so, when? Where? It takes her a moment before she realizes she's staring, but when she does, she quickly snaps out of her daze to reply.

"Hi?" She manages to get out, although the tone of her voice couldn't possibly give away more that she was caught in a daze.

Her voice is high today, her least favorite. Her voice seems to be coming from the start of her throat and the top of her mouth, Jeongyeon notes. She hates it when her voice is this high, she can never get the tone she wants to convey right. Almost everything she says in this state sounds slightly... off. The only good thing about when her voice is high is that she gets less voice cracks.

The other girl chuckles, Jeongyeon was just about to ask her what was funny before she was interrupted by her, "Long reply, am I really that pretty?"

Jeongyeon opens her mouth to retort, but closes it again once she realizes she's right. She _was_ , in fact, thinking about how pretty the other woman was, is. She doesn't want to dig a hole deeper than the one she's already been put in.

"I'm taking your silence as a yes?" The woman says with a smirk, before moving her way to the empty seat in front of Jeongyeon. "Is this seat taken?"

Jeongyeon decides to weigh her options.

If she says no, then she doesn't have to deal with snarky, confident replies, the uncomfortableness of not talking to this stranger in front of you, and being distracted from said stranger's – as she put it earlier – annoyingly pretty face. On the other hand, if she says yes, then she has to deal with all of the above, and who knows what else.

It seems like an obvious choice, and Jeongyeon knows in her mind that she should say yes, but her body, her /heart/, wasn't listening. So, instead she said: "No, you can take it if you want."

And so she does. The girl extends the chair with her foot, setting down her coffee and laptop on the table the two now shared.

"Thank you...?" She prolongs the 'you', saying it in a tone that was getting progressively higher, essentially asking Jeongyeon for her name.

And for once in her dense life, Jeongyeon takes the hint.

"Jeongyeon, Yoo Jeongyeon." Jeongyeon said, pushing up her own glasses that started falling off the bridge of her nose. She extends one of her hands before continuing. "And you are?"

The woman laughs again, similar to the laugh she made a few minutes prior. "Sorry, sorry, you sounded so formal I couldn't help but laugh." She said, waving one of her hands back and forth.

"You don't have to act so formal around me, you know. It makes me feel old." She pouted angrily, trying to look upset, and then broke character by laughing again.

Jeongyeon would be lying if she said she wasn't disappointed when the stranger's pout left as quickly as it came.

"To copy you, Jeongyeon, I'm Nayeon. Im Nayeon." Nayeon decides to play along with Jeongyeon's attempt at formality, taking Jeongyeon's hand and shaking it.

"Nayeon?" Her hand freezes in the handshake. The sort of euphoric feeling her heart was feeling a few moments ago went up by three notches, and she hopes that Nayeon can't hear her heart beating as loudly as Jeongyeon can.

The gummy smile she had shown a few moments ago appears again, this time in more of a wide smirk, her head slightly tilted away for a more dramatic effect. "That's me." She giggles slightly.

Okay, Jeongyeon thinks. Contrary to what she wants to believe, Nayeon can hear it. The pounding of her heart that increasingly got louder the more she sat with Nayeon. Jeongyeon's sure of it. The wide, knowing smirk the older displays says all.

Nayeon let go of the handshake, moving her hand under her chin, essentially pointing all attention to her face. "Im Nayeon, in the flesh. Aren't you a lucky one." She cooed playfully. Jeongyeon could swear she can see sparkles around Nayeon at that exact moment.

That's why she seemed familiar.

Realizing more than a comfortable amount of silence has passed, Jeongyeon quickly tries to keep the conversation going. "Lucky? How so?"

One of Nayeon's eyebrows perk up in a quizical look, like she was studying Jeongyeon's face. Like she was studying Jeongyeon. "Not everyone has the chance to sit across from Im Nayeon herself, Jeongie."

Jeongyeon flinches at the nickname. She never usually gets nicknames, let alone from someone she's just met. "Not like you _chose_ to sit with me. You don't have many options right now, you know." Nayeon's still looking at her, but not in her eyes. It's like she was seeing through Jeongyeon, reading Jeongyeon like she had built-in subtitles. Jeongyeon wishes she can read Nayeon, but her blank expression isn't helping at all.

"Doesn't that mean you're luckier, though?" Nayeon was still blankly looking through her, much to Jeongyeon's dismay. "By chance, I went to this café to do a film review instead of my hectic dorm. And also by chance, the café was crowded enough that I had to sit with someone I didn't know." She places her hand on Jeongyeon's side of the table, a little away from the taller's hand. "And like three times a charm, that someone ended up being you." She smiles, and Jeongyeon can't tell if she means it or not.

"Do you really think this was all just luck?" Jeongyeon asks without thinking. "Considering everything, isn't it more logical to say this was bound to happen?"

Before Jeongyeon can take back what she said, she sees Nayeon's eyes widen, her mouth opening to respond, before closing it back up. They fall into a comfortably uncomfortable silence.

She decides to take a good look at Nayeon again.

Although she was popular, she's never seen Nayeon in person before – mostly because their buildings were on the opposite side of the campus. The last time she also saw Nayeon in digital form was around a year or so ago. She slowly punches her old self in the face more and more as she recalls how much times she has said or thought something along the lines of 'Nayeon's too good to be true.'

Because the Nayeon she thought was too good to be true is right in front of her.

The beautiful, soon-to-be actress that everyone has fallen for in one way or another. The Nayeon that everyone calls the "Campus Crush", the one who's a role model to both lowerclassmen and even to people in her own year level.

But if all the rumors she's heard about Nayeon are true, then what's the catch?

Who exactly _is_ "Im Nayeon"?

Jeongyeon finds herself wanting to know more about Nayeon, despite only meeting around 5 minutes ago.

Jeongyeon looks into Nayeon's eyes, only to see Nayeon seeing through her again. It feels so _strange_ , having someone read you like an open book. Worried, Jeongyeon asks: "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

_A beat._

Nayeon's eyes were glued to Jeongyeon's face, but never at her eyes. Jeongyeon worries that she's done something wrong, her insecurities slowly resurfacing as time goes by.

After what felt like an eternity to Jeongyeon, Nayeon finally opens her mouth to speak. Jeongyeon watches attentively, hoping Nayeon wasn't going to make a bad remark about her that she probably read about in the time she was blankly staring at Jeongyeon – which, in most cases, would be taken as rude or creepy, but this was Jeongyeon, and Jeongyeon obviously had a soft spot for Nayeon – even though they've only known each other for a couple minutes now.

"You're..."

_Task failed..._

"interesting."

_Successfully? What?_

"Excuse me?" Jeongyeon responds, obviously taken aback. Nayeon chuckles again, but this time it sounded more genuine, even if it's just a tiny bit.

"You're interesting, Yoo Jeongyeon." She takes a sip of her coffee, and then finally looks at Jeongyeon's eyes. Seeing the still confused look on Jeongyeon's face, she decides to elaborate. "You seem mysterious. Complicated. Reserved." She takes another sip before continuing again, "Something about you caught my eye."

"And that something is?" Jeongyeon still doesn't know how to feel. How to act. How to comprehend. She was barely able to produce a response quick enough for it not to be awkward. She leans back on her chair, only for Nayeon to lean forward on the table, keeping their distance the same as it used to be.

"I don't know." She responds _way_ too quick for comfort, eyes on the table as she plays with the slight frost on her iced coffee container.

"But what I do know..." upon hearing those words, Jeongyeon prepares herself for the worst, counting the seconds until Nayeon finishes her sentence. It takes approximately 2.8 seconds for Nayeon to continue.

"...is that I want to get to know you better, Jeongyeon."

Nayeon spoke like her words were the absolute, obvious truth. Her words being chosen as if reading Jeongyeon's mind earlier, knowing all of her thoughts, her insecurities, everything. But she can't, she doesn't.

Nayeon's still human, after all.

Jeongyeon takes a moment to think. Really, this could all just be one huge prank.

Another "fuck you" the universe could be giving her. Why else would Nayeon talk to _her_ of all people? Was this _really_ bound to happen, despite there most definitely being hundreds of thousands of other timelines where Jeongyeon and Nayeon never even cross paths? Should Jeongyeon really trust her, just like that? What even is trust?

All these thoughts engulfed Jeongyeon rather quickly, as if she was drowning in the middle of the ocean and couldn't swim. The feeling of slowly losing oxygen until her inevitable death, with no help, with no one to call for. Like she was screaming, but couldn't be heard.

But what if someone finally heard her?

The words echo through her mind.

_"I want to get to know you better, Jeongyeon."_

She still doesn't know what she means by that, if there's a secret meaning to it that she doesn't understand, or if she's just overthinking the whole thing again. Although everything has that effect on her, Nayeon would've taken first place for it effortlessly.

Jeongyeon usually wouldn't be thinking this hard when someone wants to 'get to know her better'. She usually gets their number, replies to their texts, responds to their calls, and wait until they eventually get bored of her and drop her. Her sister says it's unhealthy, that she should work on opening up to people more at her own pace, but she's never found a chance to.

Maybe this is her chance.

Maybe Nayeon's a gift straight from the universe, instead of a cruel choice of character development. A consolation prize for not winning, but still participating in all the shit the universe decided to put her through.

So, thinking she's never going to receive a chance like this again, Jeongyeon decides to take it.

One step.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jeongyeon asks. She doesn't get the complexity of trust, nor does she get how other people can trust so easily, but maybe now's the time for her to find out.

"Isn't it obvious?" She grins, lowering one of her hands on top of Jeongyeon's. "You're not like me. Quite the opposite, actually. But at the same time... you're exactly like me." She chuckles again, around the thousandth time she's chuckled in the conversation. "It makes me wonder what being in your life would be like. As I said, you're interesting, Yoo."

Her smile doesn't disappear as they fall into a comfortable silence, her hand still on top of Jeongyeon's.

_'Me? Exactly like her?'_ Jeongyeon thinks. It's frankly impossible for someone like _her_ to be like Im Nayeon. Never in a million years.

Two steps.

"Is that a good thing?" Jeongyeon says softly as she examines Nayeon's smile. Her front teeth are slightly rounded and protruding, resembling a bunny. Because of it, her cheeks puff up, making her eyes smaller, cuter. There's slight creases near the far end of her eyes, usually being a sign of authenticity, from what she's observed.

Jeongyeon knows, she can feel it. Her smile is genuine, Nayeon's being genuine. Nayeon's being serious. Nayeon's being *real*.

All of this is real.

Jeongyeon slowly calms down, and for the first time in her life, she thanks the universe.

"Hmm.." She's silent for a moment, and then continues. "Depends. You like to use your brain more than me, I don't like using my brain. So, I guess it's a good thing in that scenario?" And for the first time in the day, Jeongyeon laughs. Unfortunately for her, a hard slap to her shoulder follows.

Before she can yell in pain, she sees Nayeon angrily pouting again, the same one she did a few minutes ago. The one where she tries to be angry, but ultimately looks so cute that you can't even tell she's angry. "Hey! Why is that the only thing you laugh at, Yoo Jeongyeon?!"

Jeongyeon likes this feeling. Like having a heavy weight be lifted from your shoulders. She wants to feel this more. She wants to know Nayeon more.

Three steps.

"You basically admitted that you're an idiot, why wouldn't I laugh?" And yet another slap comes her way, but this time she laughs as she receives it.

"Hey! I'm not an idiot, I'm just impulsive sometimes!" She says, slapping Jeongyeon again, her pout getting more and more defined as they go on.

"That's practically the same thing, iM nAyeOn." Nayeon kept slapping her shoulder before crossing her arms, leaning back on her chair and looking away from the woman across from her. "You're so mean, Jeongyeon-ah."

In this scenario, Jeongyeon would usually apologize, making the conversation awkward. However, if there was one thing Jeongyeon learned in the time she's sat with Nayeon, is that nothing's usual when you're with Im Nayeon.

So, in this moment, she decides to be like Nayeon, and not use her brain.

Four steps.

"You _do_ know that pouting like that doesn't make you look angry, right?" Jeongyeon shuts down her laptop and leans over the table. She can finish the article later, anyway.

"Oh?" Nayeon immediately switches character, and leans over the table too. Their faces are so close that if any one of them were to lean in a little closer, their noses would touch. A little closer, and their–

Jeongyeon decides to stop thinking if she knows what's good for her.

"Then what does pouting like this make me look like, Yoo?" She says as she pouts again, Jeongyeon's heart pounding so loudly that Nayeon might here it considering how close they are. The fact that Nayeon is making her look at her lips when they're this close is making it really hard for Jeongyeon to not just kiss her right then and there.

Not like Jeongyeon knows how to anyway.

"It makes you look cute, like a pout you do when you want to convince someone to do something for you." She pats Nayeon's head, smoothly pulling herself away from Nayeon's pouting face.

The pout on Nayeon's face is quickly replaced with a knowing smirk. "So you think I look cute?"

Five steps.

"Yes, pretty too." It's now or never. Jeongyeon shows her a smirk, similar to the smirk Nayeon once had, which is now replaced with an 'o' expression. She didn't know what she was doing, how she was doing it, everything inside of her is yelling for her to abort mission and run away. But right now, Jeongyeon doesn't want to listen. Jeongyeon doesn't want to run. For once in her life, she lets her body decide. Jeongyeon could feel Nayeon freezing up for a bit, before quickly calming down quick enough to retort.

"Didn't know you had it in you. You really are interesting, Yoo." She smirks again, leaning back on her chair. Despite being here for almost 20 minutes, Nayeon's laptop has still not been opened, the ice in her coffee already melted by the time she takes another sip.

She hesitates, then takes another step.

Six steps.

"I'm not the only one who's interesting, Im." She pops the 'm', and then continues. "Somehow, I can't get a read on you. Yet." Jeongyeon says it snarkily, much like how Nayeon introduced herself a few moments prior.

"What does that mean?" Nayeon takes off her glasses to clean the lens a bit, then puts them back on, looking quizically at Jeongyeon.

"Isn't it obvious?" Jeongyeon says, repeating an interaction between them that only happened minutes ago.

"I want to get to know you better, Nayeon." They both share a smile, almost like making sure both their smiles are engraved in each others' minds.

They share a moment of silence. Comfortable silence. Not like the silence Jeongyeon thought she would share with a stranger.

It's the silence she'd share with a friend.

Maybe opening up isn't so bad after all.

**BLING**

Jeongyeon's phone blows up as she turned it on, having kept it off since she entered the cafe. Missed calls, messages, and even twitter mentions of her three roommates needing her dire assistance in something about "Momo", "Broken wall", and "Accident", four words that should, in no circumstance, be put together _ever_.

"I have to go." She says dejectedly.

"Already?" Nayeon pouts, yet again, and shows puppy eyes that ordinary people absolutely cannot resist, but Jeongyeon was no ordinary person.

She was 'interesting'.

"That's not working on me, sorry." She snickers, putting her phone in her pocket.

"Wait!" She stops. Something about the tone of her voice throws her off. A sense of urgency, yet still filled with her usual playfulness.

Can I borrow your phone, I left mine at the dorm and my roommate's gonna think I got kidnapped or something."

Likely story, Jeongyeon thinks, but hands her her phone anyway. What's she gonna do, look through her gallery of only pet photos and occasionally her roommates' selfies when they steal her phone?

When she got her phone back however, it was something that wasn't, but should've been on her mind from the start.

She looks at Nayeon surprised, but isn't surprised at the cheeky grin Nayeon showed her. Attempting to show innocence, but instead showing a slight intent of malice. Thankfully, not anything too bad.

She packed up her things, – phone still in hand – and made her way through the crowd, trying to get to the exit.

As she's about to open the door, she faces Nayeon one last time before leaving. With a smile still on her face, she points out her pinky and thumb, shaking it. Silently, Nayeon mouths 'call me', making Jeongyeon laugh at how cheesy she was being.

Jeongyeon returns the smile and waves her goodbye, before leaving for her shared condo near the university.

Her smile still present, Jeongyeon looks down at her phone, specifically the new contact that was added just a few moments ago.

One that reads "PRETTY NAYEON 💜"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter done! Wow! This took a lot out of me, but I'll do it for 2yeon. This was really fun, and I hope you stick around until the series' end!
> 
> –educmoron


	2. american chipotlé

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeongyeon decides not to ask. With the three as her roommates, all common sense is thrown out the window.

" _Hyung_! You need to help us!" Before Jeongyeon could process those words, she felt a pair of arms pull her into an embrace.

"Good to see you too, Chaeyoung." She chuckles at the very urgent sounding greeting Chaeyoung gave, slowly patting the smaller's head in the hug, not knowing what to do with her other hand.

**SON CHAEYOUNG**. 1/3 of Jeongyeon's hectic roommates, and has known Jeongyeon since her third year of high school. A tiny, first-year multimedia arts student who is a tad too hyper at times, but reliable in others. Usually the one in the trio's shenanigans that whine about messing up for a bit, and then frantically try to fix it before Jeongyeon sees. Living up to her title as the baby (tiger, she usually adds, but she's more of an extroverted housecat than anything) of the house, she struggles to reach the top shelf in the kitchen, often having to climb up the counter, or whine until someone helps her.

"Shut up!" Chaeyoung whines in the hug. Jeongyeon chuckles again. "It was hilarious, though. Everyone was having fun until we heard the sound of glass breaking, and then there was just _silence_." She laughs, but from the tone of her voice, Jeongyeon could tell that some part of her was scared. She could see why, of course, glass abruptly breaking while being in a happy and blissful state would shock anyone, but Jeongyeon could sense a hint of uncertainty in Chaeyoung's voice. Something _else_ was bothering Chaeyoung.

Jeongyeon decides not to ask. Whatever it is, Jeongyeon has a feeling she doesn't want to talk about it.

So instead, she asks a different question that was on her mind.

"Broken glass? Didn't Momo and Dahyun tell me they broke a wall?"

Chaeyoung looked at Jeongyeon like she just spoke spanish at an American Chipotlé. For a while – a very, _very_ , long and uncomfortable while, – they just stood there, before Jeongyeon saw her mouth finally open. She swears she released a breath that she didn't even know she was holding.

"That's a great idea, hyung. We should try that next time." She digs her head more onto Jeongyeon's chest, hugging her deeper. Jeongyeon welcomes the new warmth with much more headpats, her other arm still uselessly hanging on her side.

Even though she can't see her face anymore, Jeongyeon's almost 100% sure that the other girl's smirking on one side, trying to look as maliceful as she possibly can (They didn't have the heart to tell her that she looks as filled with malice as a bunny nibbling on a carrot).

As much as Jeongyeon wants to pause time to enjoy this moment further, she's only human. Anything that happens in this timeline is bound to happen, and _will_ happen, no matter what she does. So instead, she melts into Chaeyoung's embrace, not wanting to waste any second that Chaeyoung is in her life. Her simple way of showing gratitude to the younger who's been able to deal with her all these years.

If you ask her, _these_ moments are probably when Jeongyeon feels love the most. The warmth that Chaeyoung brings reminds her of something _euphoric_ , something an ordinary person would describe as _home_. Like when you drop face first on your bed after a long, tireless day of working, fall asleep immediately, and then wake up on your own in a cool room ready to face the day. For some reason – one that she can't seem to pinpoint, – Jeongyeon's mind wanders elsewhere.

The nice feeling of warmth against Jeongyeon makes her think of Nayeon, and the weird feeling of tranquility she gave her in those few minutes.

Jeongyeon still doesn't know what that feeling was.

She shakes the thought away, – making a mental note to deal with it later, – realizing why she came home at the first place.

" _Alright_ , what's the damage?" Chaeyoung laughs at how 'used to it' Jeongyeon sounds as she pulls away from Chaeyoung's much needed warmth, looking around the room.

To Jeongyeon's dismay, their living room was a mess.

The couches seemed to have frantically been moved, the lazily placed pillows sitting on top of them. Scattered on the floor were nerf darts, both blue and orange, some looking more beat up than others. Finally, she looks at the middle of the room, seeing the foundation of what used to be a coffee table, and an empty frame where glass used to be. If it weren't for the tiny glass shards sticking out the side of the frame, and if it weren't for the scared and embarrassed faces the two other roommates shared, she wouldn't have thought anything happened. What surprised Jeongyeon the most though was the lack of glass shards on the floor.

She decides to interrogate the suspects at hand.

Her two roommates are standing next to each other, each having something in their hands. Dahyun's standing closer to the door, while Momo's tucked away in the corner, fiddling with an orange nerf dart in her hand. A bit away from her is a red, decently-sized nerf gun, which looked to be thrown away in a haste. Poor thing.

**KIM DAHYUN**. 1/3 of Jeongyeon's hectic roommates, that being the same reason they met altogether. A first-year journalism student that specializes in TV broadcasting. Although goofy and playful most times, she can be serious when she needs to be, especially on TV. People who don't know her very well call her "that one gifted journalist." At her young age, she's already been invited to the university's press club, making her able to join contests and exhibitions to promote her journalism skills further. She often teases Chaeyoung about her height, before being shot down by Jeongyeon and Momo, usually whining right after with Chaeyoung teasing her back.

**HIRAI MOMO.** 1/3 of Jeongyeon's hectic roommates, them both meeting through Jeongyeon's childhood friend, Mina. A dance student, along with Mina, and the biggest whiner of Jeongyeon's three roommates. Known for her dance skills, she's often called the dancing MOchine, and is considered one of the best dancers in her year. Contrary to her title of biggest whiner, she's one of the people you can rely on when you need someone to just be _there_. Essentially, she's the pillar that Jeongyeon wishes she could be – even though she's been told several times that she's more than enough of a pillar herself. Her and Dahyun are usually the initiators of the trio's shenanigans, if Chaeyoung's impulsiveness didn't convince them first.

Dahyun's left hand is tucked behind her back, but Jeongyeon could see the faint resemblences to yet another nerf gun in her hand. It doesn't take another second for Jeongyeon to put two and two together. "Why were you having a nerf war in our living room?" She slowly approaches the two, Chaeng following closely behind her. In this house of chaos, sometimes Chaeyoung's the only one Jeongyeon could turn to for help at times like this. Emphasis on _sometimes_.

No one responds, looking away silently like a class who just got yelled at by their favorite teacher. Looks like she has to take a different approach.

So she turns to Chaeyoung, who's still slightly behind her. "Alright Chaeng, what happened?"

Chaeyoung stops next to her, releasing long breath that sounded more like a mix of a sigh and a groan. "We were playing extreme two truths and a lie." Chaeyoung looks up at Jeongyeon, their eyes meeting. "And Dahyun cheated."

"No I di–!" She started, before Jeongyeon's eyes – although filled with more confusion than anger – brought her to a halt before she could finish her sentence.

Jeongyeon looks back at the scene, nodding. The unkemptness of this room makes Jeongyeon's in-brain alarm go off, and she has to physically stop herself from cleaning it up the more she has to look at the room. She looks back down at the scattered nerf darts and guns on the floor, trying to look past the uncleanliness of the room as a whole. When did they even get nerf guns?

"Who cleaned up the broken glass?" Jeongyeon decides not to ask. With the three as her roommates, all common sense is thrown out the window.

She turns back to Chaeyoung, who looks surprised at the fact that indeed, there isn't any glass on the floor.

"It wasn't me." Chaeyoung manages to get out, her head snapping towards Dahyun and Momo as she spoke. They both looked away shyly, before hearing a tiny "We both did." from Dahyun. The brothers turn their head to Momo for confirmation, only to receive a nod. Jeongyeon must say, her heart melted a little from their consideration. It sucks that they didn't think to also clean up every other mess in the living room, but atleast they cleaned something up, right?

"Alright." Jeongyeon says after a few beats of silence. "If none of you are hurt, then help me clean up." The three look at Jeongyeon like she just grew a third head. Usually, Jeongyeon isn't this straightforward. There's always more scolding, more questions asked, just _more_.

But Jeongyeon doesn't want to deal with more today. She still feels like she's up on cloud nine, she still feels like everything's finally okay.

And knowing this feeling isn't going to stay for long, she decides to hold onto it for as long as she can.

"Really, hyung? What about the coffee table?" There's a hint of surprise and happiness in Chaeyoung's voice, aside from the tone of uncertainty present earlier. Jeongyeon nods, gesturing towards the coffee table. "Let's just not get a glass coffee table this time." She chuckles quietly.

From her words, the sides of Momo and Dahyun's lips creak into a smile, and they loosen up enough to almost topple Jeongyeon over as the hug her, both thanking her and apologizing her at the same time. An odd combination, Jeongyeon thinks, but nothing that she isn't used to.

The hug leaves as quickly as it comes, much to Jeongyeon's wishes. She never knows what to do in hugs, doesn't know where to put her hands, her head, _anything_. So, like the idiot she is, she just stands there, counting the seconds until it's over. The hug with Chaeyoung lasted for a good 14 seconds, this one lasting 3 atleast. The happy tone in their voices and the smiles on their faces warms her heart – even if it's just a tiny bit.

But, even though Jeongyeon can say with full certainty that she cherishes the love her roommates – her _friends_ – share, there's still a feeling of emptiness left in Jeongyeon's heart.

And she knows very well that – no matter what she does, – it's a void that she'll never be able to fill.

* * *

They find themselves in the now clean living room, playing the third terrible movie they've watched that night on their TV. Jeongyeon doesn't know how it lived during the nerf war, but the calm atmosphere of the room compared to when she first walked in, and the genuinely great time she's having with her roommates, makes Jeongyeon glad it did.

In this moment, Jeongyeon feels at peace.

Like what she felt with Nayeon.

Why does her mind always go to her?

Jeongyeon forces her thoughts elsewhere, not wanting her mind to turn back on yet.

She decides to take a break from losing her braincells. Instead, she scans the room, hoping to burn this memory into her mind. Dahyun is asleep on Momo, the latter adjusting herself to accomodate for the addition. As cute as it may seem, it really sucks that they take up two thirds of the couch, but Jeongyeon doesn't say anything. Chaeyoung is sitting inside of the once glass coffee table, even though she's been offered to take Jeongyeon's spot on the couch more than once. There's something about being small and impulsive that Jeongyeon admires.

The fact that someone can be so smart yet so stupid baffles Jeongyeon's, but she's always had a soft spot in her heart for opposites.

Although the absolutely horrible movie was hard to watch at times, the wide smile Momo had when she suggested it made it so hard for everyone to say no. Momo, with Chaeyoung, is the usual movie suggestor of their group, her new hobby being finding and watching bad, rip-off movies made with mostly greenscreen and stock videos.

"It's funny, just bad." Momo used to say to her, and although she didn't believe it then, Jeongyeon can't find any other descriptor to use now. One moment they're laughing about terrible CGI, the next moment they're cringing at dialogue that seemed like it was written by a 2nd grader writing a mandatory storybook. The first Pocket Monsters game was made better than this, and that was made with the developers asleep on the wheel.

After some time, Jeongyeon decides this was enough human interaction for one day.

"I'm heading off to my room." She prys herself off the couch, making sure her voice is loud enough for everyone to hear her. Her voice is lower than when she was at the cafe, but still high enough for her to dislike it as much as she does. Momo rises from the couch – or tries to, with Dahyun still on her, – looking at Jeongyeon with a mostly blank, but somewhat confused expression. "Reached your limit?" Chaeyoung asks, but Jeongyeon can't take her seriously when she's sitting inside of a _broken coffee table_. She muffles a laugh before replying, "Yeah, this afternoon has been a rollercoaster."

Chaeyoung glares at her with one eyebrow raised. Jeongyeon yells at herself inside for teaching Chaeyoung how to read people all those months ago. Although she's not as good at it, she could still get the general idea and gather her thoughts from there. Another quality that Jeongyeon admired in Chaeyoung.

After a long 6 seconds, Chaeyoung finally decided to speak. "Don't knock until you try it, hyung. This coffee table's _great_." She laughed before wishing Jeongyeon a good night, Jeongyeon laughing along as well.

After bidding each other goodbye (and goodnight), Jeongyeon retires to her room, finally away from people until the next morning.

* * *

Jeongyeon doesn't know what to do.

It's 12AM, and for the last hour or so all she has been processed was the paint of her ceiling and the muffled noise coming from the living room. Her mind was empty, like static in a TV when you switch to a channel not in your cable plan. And honestly, Jeongyeon was sick of it.

So she got up.

She decides to finish her article that was supposed to be done earlier today if it weren't for some... distractions. Although her mind was still switched off, bullshitting a paper was one of Jeongyeon's many qualities. Besides, she can feel it. All her emotions and everything else she was feeling being equally distributed to every part of her body. It's like when a sports player gets "in the zone". She can't help but feel that things are gonna go well. Tonight, atleast.

So there she was.

On her desk, with her laptop in front of her, tumbler filled with cold water sitting by her side. A word document for an unifinished article staring at her from the brightness of her laptop screen. For a journalism student, she's always had a hard time with column writing – mainly because it's about the writer's opinion based on facts rather than facts alone, and Jeongyeon's always had trouble voicing out what she was feeling or thinking at a certain point in time.

She stares back at the document, hoping it would just finish itself so she doesn't have to do any work.

After a couple minutes of complaining about not wanting to do her work, she finally gives in, and starts writing.

* * *

Her motivation only lasts for so long as her mind wanders away again, her hands frozen on top of the keyboard. Even though her body was "in the zone", her mind wasn't cooperating in the slightest.

She closes her laptop screen in hopes of calming her mind down enough to start writing again.

Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.

Jeongyeon doesn't know how much time has passed, but her mind was still static, her thoughts bouncing off the corners of her brain like the DVD logo when a movie was finished. Wandering to something, no, _someone_ that she's been pushing to the back of her mind all afternoon. Once she came to that conclusion, Jeongyeon realizes that she can't escape what's inevitable.

So for the first time that night, Jeongyeon freely lets herself think about Nayeon.

Her smile, her snarkiness that Jeongyeon wants to hate but can't bring herself to, the comfort and freedom and _peace_ she felt when she was with her, Jeongyeon thought of them all.

And slowly, the static that once filled her TV screen was replaced with a channel she can't seem to look away from.

Snippets of their conversation echo through her mind once more.

_"You're... interesting, Yoo."_

_"I want to get to know you better, Yoo Jeongyeon."_

_"I want to get to know you better, Nayeon."_

Right. She wants to get to know Nayeon better. She got a taste of her – her personality, her words, her as a _person_ , – that left her wanting more. She thinks back to a thought she had during their conversation.

_"Who exactly is Im Nayeon?"_

Because she doesn't know. She still doesn't know who the popular IM NAYEON of the acting course is. She doesn't know her likes, dislikes, what she does or want whenever she's sad, how much she's secretly feeling and hiding away from the public, nothing. Frankly, Jeongyeon doesn't know Im Nayeon at all.

She doesn't know if IM NAYEON just talked to her and told her she was interesting just to play with her for some odd reason. She doesn't even know if THE IM NAYEON ever wants to talk to her again.

That was it, one of Jeongyeon's worst – if not _the_ worst – fears to date.

Not knowing anything.

Her arms are getting slightly heavier on the table, her legs subsequently getting lighter as time goes on. What if those really were empty words? What if she opened up for nothing? What if Nayeon was just playing her? What if Nayeon was laughing at her with all of her popular acting friends in the popular acting clique because of Jeongyeon's unpopularity? What if... What if... _What if_ —

Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.

Jeongyeon didn't even realize her irregular breathing and heart rate until it was suddenly brought to her attention. She was starting to think that maybe letting her mind do what it wants was a bad idea.

She counts the seconds passing by out loud, taking a long breath after each number. Jeongyeon eventually gets to the point where she can gather her thoughts enough to form a coherent understanding of the situation.

So that's exactly what she does. Slowly, she recalls just what exactly happened at the cafe.

IM NAYEON approaches her in a crowded cafe, and asks if she can sit next to Jeongyeon.

_"Okay, so far so good."_ Jeongyeon thinks. She takes a long breath again, before slowly letting herself continue.

IM NAYEON tells her she's lucky that she's sitting with her, Jeongyeon makes her speechless by saying that it wasn't luck, but rather fate. She wonders who exactly the Im Nayeon behind IM NAYEON is.

_"Right, you're remembering well, keep going."_

IM NAYEON looks at her blankly, before saying that she thinks Jeongyeon is interesting, and that she wants to get to know Jeongyeon better.

_"Go on, you're almost there. There's something you're still missing."_

Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. She lets out another long breath, and then a short one. Her little way of keeping herself calm, just for a little longer.

_"You're calm, that's good. Keep it up for a little longer."_ She thinks to herself as she goes back to recalling how she met Nayeon.

Jeongyeon has a panic attack before ultimately deciding to slowly open up to IM NAYEON, step by step.

_"That's it!"_ Jeongyeon's line of thinking ends as she finally understands what she needs to do. She needs to be able to answer her own question with full confidence, the very question that made her have this mini panic attack in the first place.

A question along the lines of _"Who exactly is Im Nayeon?"_

Jeongyeon desperately wants to know.

So, she decides to find out. She closes her eyes and leans back on her chair, releasing yet another breath. She prolongs the breath, distributing the emotions and everything else she was feeling equally to every part of her body again. Not long after, Jeongyeon was back in the zone.

And for some odd reason, her sixth sense – her intuition and gut – tells her that things are gonna go well tonight.

Despite it being wrong earlier, she chooses to believe in it again.

Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Jeongyeon calms herself one more time, before making yet another big decision that day.

Tonight, Jeongyeon decides to take the first step to knowing Im Nayeon.

She opens her laptop back up, and types something in the searchbar without looking, having memorized the URL by heart at this point.

As soon as she looks up, she's there. At the website she visits oh so often. At the very website that made her call Nayeon too good to be true for the last three years.

Here she was, on the college confessions page.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I've decided I wanted to impulsively throw myself into this game franchise, so that's what I've been doing.
> 
> JeongMoDubChaeng Roommates is an idea that's been in my head for a while, and I'm glad that I was able to incorporate it into this story. A part of me feels that they're a bit out of character, though.
> 
> Thank you for waiting! See you soon!
> 
> – educmoron


	3. could've

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanting to find out who IM NAYEON was on a college confessions page of all things probably wasn't the best idea in the world.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Jeongyeon didn't know what she was expecting.  
  


The college confessions page was exactly the same as it was earlier this morning, aside from the few added posts over the hours she was gone for. What _was different_ though, was Jeongyeon's reason to be here.  
  
  
  
  


To get to know her better.  
  
  
  
  


She's always loved the idea of the college confessions page – the love letters tag atleast. A place where people can anonymously pour out their heart for someone without anyone knowing who they are most definitely sounds like something Jeongyeon would take advantage of, if it weren't for one _glaring_ problem.  
  
  
  
  


No matter how hard she tried, Jeongyeon couldn't feel love.  
  
  
  
  


And there's a part of her that feels like she never will.  
  
  
  
  


But the other part of her still grasps on to the tiny bit of hope that tells her that there _is_ a chance. That even though the whole world seems to be against her, there's atleast _one_ person who's on her side. Until then though, she can only dream of experiencing a _fraction_ of what the love letters tag writers experiences.  
  
  


When she wanted to learn more about love – the emotion she loaths yet yearns, – the love letters tag was always her go-to. Over the years, scrolling through the endless feed filled with peoples' true feelings ended up becoming a daily routine, something she would randomly do throughout the day without thinking. It was somewhat calming, reading how people wrote whole-heartedly about the people they loved.  
  
  
  
  


If only she didn't feel a sense of emptiness immediately after.  
  
  
  
  


Because of her popularity, Nayeon has a subtag specifically for love confessions from her many fans – as if she didn't get enough personally already. Jeongyeon wonders if Nayeon reads them as often as she has.  
  
  


She clicks on the first one she sees, reading every word under her breath, hoping to be able to feel the feelings that the author wanted to convey.  
  
  
  
  


She clicks on the first one she sees, hoping to fill a void she knows no one can fill.  
  
  
  
  


"May 17th, 20XX  
2:47AM  
  
  


I am a film major, and have always admired Nayeon from afar. Although she's easy to get along with, I can't seem to muster up enough confidence to speak to her one-on-one, thus the reason why I'm here.  
  
  


Im Nayeon, If you're reading this, I like you. No, I am head over heels in love with you. Everything about you takes my breath away, and I hope at the sight of me, your breath gets taken away as well.  
  
  


I know I have plenty of competition, and I know that there's a tiny chance that you like me back, but if you do, then I'd happily want to make you mine, baby.  
  
  


Just say the word, and the entire world can be yours.  
  
  


Love,–"  
  
  
  
  


...And that's where Jeongyeon stops reading.  
  
  


She hates when people sign their names under their confessions, it defeats the whole purpose of having the college confessions page anonymous in the first place. Nevertheless, it was just a normal, ordinary confession, almost exactly like the tens of thousand ones that she's previously read. They're all the same, from the 'loving from afar' to the 'if you're reading this, i like you', reading them all makes Jeongyeon think that if love will make her this boring, she'll rather deal with the loneliness she feels everyday.  
  
  


She marks yet another stick to the tally labled 'Generic Confessions', a tally that she started around a year and a half prior, and moves onto the next, hopefully less-boring one.  
  
  
  
  


"May 17th, 20XX  
2:46AM  
  
  


Reading this subtag has made me realize how much people love Nayeon. I don't know if I should feel jealous or happy that there's people around me who share the same interest.  
  
  


To Nayeon, however, It doesn't matter if you don't love me back, just please let me keep loving you. Loving you has made me such a happier person that I can't even describe it, Nayeon.  
  
  


Loving you has made me love myself even more, loving you has made me love my life even more.  
  
  


Thank you for existing. Thank you for being so lovable. I love you so much."  
  
  
  
  


 _"Huh, not bad._ " Jeongyeon thinks.  
  
  


This one was wholesome, it even made Jeongyeon's heart happy to a considerable extent. It seems selfless, loving someone without asking them to love you back. Loving someone just for the sake of loving someone.  
  
  
  
  


Her heart's happiness didn't stay long as she came to that conclusion.  
  
  
  
  


Loving someone without asking for them to love you back is what practically millions of people say to the people they love, but most of them end up crying themselves to sleep that night, the rest not being able to sleep thinking about all the other scenarios that _could've_ happened.  
  
  


Jeongyeon's scared of that word, _could've_. There's always something you _could've_ done, always something you should've done.  
  
  
  
  


Yet no matter how hard she tries, she always seems to fall a few steps short.  
  
  
  
  


One thing Jeongyeon doesn't get about love is why people stay, even when it hurts. Why people love when they know they're not going to be loved back. Why people stay, even though they know that things aren't going to lead anywhere.  
  
  
  
  


Just like _her_.  
  
  
  
  


That day is burned into her mind, so much so that it sometimes follows her to her dreams.  
  
  


She remembers everything vividly, the bright blue of the sky that promised everything was gonna be okay, the refreshing wind that occassionally brushed her face, the calming atmosphere yet the nervousness of the girl in front of her, it's all so vividly burned into her mind, like a DVD stuck in a broken player.  
  
  


The conversation they both had is ironically blurry now from how long it's been, the only things she can make out are the other girl's ' _I love you_ ', her _'I know you're not ready yet, and you don't have to say it back_ ,' and finally her ' _I love you, and I'll keep loving you, Jeongyeon. I'll keep loving you, even more so when you say it back_.'  
  
  
  
  


Jeongyeon never said it back.  
  
  
  
  


Saying it back sounded like too much of a lie. She thought that getting into this would finally make her feel what love was like, that getting into this would finally make her feel the love that swept people off their feet, t hat getting into this would finally close up the void she's dealt with for her entire life.  
  
  
  
  


So why wasn't it working?  
  
  
  
  


Why can't she feel what _she's_ feeling? Why can't she have stars in her eyes when talking about her too? Why can't she feel butterflies in her stomach whenever they spend time together?  
  
  
  
  


Why can't she say it back?  
  
  
  
  


The memories of the end of their relationship flash in front of her eyes again, like a terrible movie that you've watched multiple times, yet you somehow never stop watching.  
  
  
  
  


...

_"I love you, Jeong."_

_"I... I like you."_

_"It's okay, you don't have to say it back if you're not ready yet."_   
  
  


_..._   
  
  


_"I love you, Jeong."_

_"I like you too."_   
  
  


_..._   
  
  


_"Jeongie? Is everything okay?"_

_"I like you, []."_

_"Yes, I know, now what's wrong?"_

_"That's exactly what's wrong, []."_

_"What's that supposed to mean?"_

_"I don't think love is mean't for someone like me."_   
  
  


_..._   
  
  


_"[]?"_

_"Yes, Jeongyeon?"_

_"Why are you still with me?"_

_"Jeongyeon."_

_"I can't love you, no matter how hard I try. No matter how hard I want to. So why are you still with me?"_

_"Jeong–"_

_"Aren't you only hurting yourself?"_

_"..."_

_"Is it so wrong to dream, Jeong?"_   
  
  


_..._   
  
  


_"Let's break up, []." She's been trying to say those words for days, weeks, and it's finally left her mouth._   
  
  


_Here goes ~~nothing~~ _everything _._  
  
  


_"What? Why? Didn't I already say I'm content with you not loving me back?"_

_"That's the problem, []! You're not supposed to be content. You don't have to adjust because of me, you don't have to suffer because of me! You don't have to chase me when I can't chase after you too."_

_"Jeongyeon, please, I'm okay with–"_

_"Well I'm not, []! We're in a relationship, you shouldn't be shouldering everything! I'm not okay with you hurting because of me. Stop just thinking about yourself and start thinking about what I feel!"_

_"...start thinking about what you feel?"_   
  
  


_That's when she knew she messed up._ Bad _._  
  
  


_"Jeongyeon, do you not think that I'm not constantly thinking of you? You even said it yourself! I'm adjusting to you, I'm chasing you, I'm loving you, I don't want to lose you, Jeong."_   
  
  


_She remembers_ her _face then, confusion, hurt,_ bargain _. Jeongyeon doesn't know if it was intentional or not, but_ she _seemed to have been genuinely begging for Jeongyeon to call everything off, like one big april fools prank. Genuinely begging for Jeongyeon to stay in her life, for Jeongyeon to never ever leave her side._  
  
  


_B_ _ut Jeongyeon knows she's not what [] deserves._

  
  


_With a deep sigh, she finally says the words she's been wanting to say ever since that day._   
  
  


_"You need to let me go, []."_   
  
  


_A disheartening silence falls between them, so quiet that if you listen closely, you can hear both of their hearts breaking, one astoundingly more than the other._   
  
  
  
  


_After a few absurdly long seconds, the girl's face shows a new emotion. Anger._   
  
  
  
  


_"If you knew you couldn't love me back, then why did you accept my confession...?" The way she said those words, the tone she used, the expression she showed as she said it, it all broke Jeongyeon's heart yet again. She could feel the tears starting to grow in her eyes as the other kept eye contact._   
  
  


_Her face didn't show anger anymore. Didn't show confusion. All that's left was bargaining, pleading, begging._   
  
  
  
  


_She's genuinely begging Jeongyeon to give her closure._   
  
  
  
  


_Jeongyeon wanted to say so many things to her then, like how she wasn't trying to hurt her, like how she wasn't trying to waste months of their lives for nothing._   
  
  
  
  


_But looking into her eyes, Jeongyeon knew she didn't need to hear her. Not anymore._   
  
  
  
  


_She turned around to the door, hand on the doorknob, waiting for something – anything, – to stop her from turning the knob._   
  
  


_Two seconds. Three. Five. Eight._   
  
  


_Upon realizing the thing she's waiting for is never going to come, she finally turns the knob, pausing again to search for something to tell Jeongyeon – the last thing she'll tell her in a while._   
  
  
  
  


_"...You could've prevented this all in the first place."_   
  
  
  
  


_"I'm sorry."_   
  
  


_The door slammed in her face, her not knowing what to do next. She stood idly in front of the door, thinking if this was the right choice or not. Thinking of how she could've gone about that conversation better. Thinking of all of the possibilities that could've happened._   
  
  
  
  


_Those last words to her echoed in her mind._   
  
  
  
  


_"...You could've prevented this all in the first place."_   
  
  
  
  


_The tone she used wasn't the same as the tone she used normally. It was soulless, like their soul was reaped during their conversation. It was heartless, like she didn't want to feel the aching in her heart after losing the one she loved. It was painful, because Jeongyeon caused this. All of this. Jeongyeon could've let her down slowly, but no, she decided to be selfish. She decided to use her in hopes of finally feeling the love that everyone wanted to get._   
  
  
  
  


_"Could've..." She chuckles sadly at the door, trying not to think about how much she wished for it opened again, a tear slowly making its way down her cheek._   
  
  
  
  


_"What an awful word."_   
  
  
  
  


\---  
  
  
  
  


Her own scream wakes her up as she jolts off her desk, both her hands on her head as she tries to steady her breathing. She didn't even realize she fell asleep until she woke up, heck, she wasn't even tired. She counts for a few seconds, hoping that she didn't wake up any of her roommates, before lowering herself back onto the desk.  
  
  


 _"So this is the universe's payback..._ " She thinks as she grabs the tumbler next to her and chugs a few seconds worth of water into her mouth. She places the tumblr back onto its coaster, the action reminding her of the laptop sitting in front of her, waiting. She thinks about how long her laptop was waiting to be used again.  
  
  
  
  


A horrible decision, really. Waiting for someone like Yoo Jeongyeon.  
  
  
  
  


The screen was still on the college confessions page, albeit scrolled down a bit more from where she last remembered it. Seriously, when and how did she fall asleep?  
  
  
  
  


Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. That doesn't matter for now. She forces her mind to shift to what she was _supposed_ to be doing before she fell asleep, taking extra precaution to make sure her mind doesn't go back to that nightmare.  
  
  


Right. Nayeon. Getting to know Nayeon better. That's what she was doing.  
  
  


Although the feeling of her laying comfortably in bed rocking herself to sleep tempts her, she decides against it, thinking that that _might_ not be a good idea after having a nightmare about a memory that'll most likely never leave her mind for the rest of her sad, lonely life.  
  
  


Jeongyeon slaps her cheeks, letting herself wake up a bit more before hopefully distracting herself with the confession her laptop opened up with. She clicked on the first confession, hoping that _this one_ will finally let her know a tad more about Nayeon – the reason she's even here in the first place.  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"May 17th, 20XX  
2:43AM  
  
  


I can't sleep, my mind is stuck on you, Nayeon. You make me so incredibly happy that I'm still awake, even when I have a class in the morning. I love you, your teeth, your hands, your smile everytime we lock eyes, god, Nayeon, if the world had a prettier person than this, they'd be lying.  
  
  


Nayeon, I love you so much it hurts. But if that pain means that I could be yours until the day I die, then so be it.  
  
  


Nayeon, I love you to the moon and back, and back again. There's no limit to how much I love you, Nayeon.  
  
  


So please love me back the same way."  
  
  
  
  


Okay, the universe is _definitely_ playing with her now.  
  
  


It's the complete opposite from the last one, begging for Nayeon to love them back instead of being okay with being on the sidelines. Jeongyeon's heart breaks a little bit. She could imagine the expression the author would make when reciting the last line, an expression she's all too familiar with.  
  
  
  
  


Confusion, hurt, bargaining.  
  
  
  
  


She could tell the author had been heartbroken before from the wording they chose. It hurts her too, honestly. How this anonymous person has been hurt so much for someone who'll most likely never love them back. Jeongyeon could tell they were hoping, _begging_ for someone to finally stay. For someone to finally love them back the way they love them. For someone to finally pull them out of the water.  
  
  
  
  


A feeling Jeongyeon can somehow relate to.  
  
  
  
  


Her heavy eyelids and tired body make her decide to finally succumb to the temptation of her bed. She closes her laptop, finishing her quest to 'get to know her better' – for now, at least.  
  
  


Throughout this endeavor, Jeongyeon's realized that wanting to find out who IM NAYEON was on a college confessions page of all things probably wasn't the best idea in the world – a little tad too late of a realization, – yet the curiosity of not finding out anything now only fueled the fire.  
  
  
  
  


She _will_ get to know IM NAYEON better, that she's sure of.  
  
  
  
  


Because for some odd reason, in the back of her mind, she wants to trust Nayeon with everything she's got.  
  
  
  
  


She walks over to her bed and flops down, trying to get into a comfortable position. Sleeping's gotten easier for Jeongyeon, her nightmare less and less over the years. It's odd, really. How she's on good terms with [] now, best friends even, yet the dream still keeps happening.  
  
  
  
  


Before she could dive further into that train of thought, a _**BLING**_ from her phone disturbs her before-bed zenning.  
  
  
  
  


She picks up her phone disgruntedly, opening up her lockscreen to check on the notification that decided to ruin her hopes and dreams for the night.  
  
  
  
  


_[ Notification from PRETTY NAYEON 💜 ]_   
  
  
  
  


And suddenly, she didn't want to go to bed anymore.  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long update, time wise. I wanted to make sure this was perfect since this was an important chapter, but I don't like the way I portrayed the ending. I figured if I worked on it for too long it'll get mushed in my head, so here it is, released to the public, for all to see.
> 
> It saddens me that I won't be able to write much angst since there's only a tiny bit of angst in this story (tiny for me, not so much for you hopefully), but it's all gonna be worth it in the end, I promise.
> 
> Thank you for waiting. I'll be back soon.
> 
> – educmoron


	4. hypothetically

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Cute." Jeongyeon finds herself thinking. She'd like to think that Nayeon's flushed, behind the screen. Talking to her.

  
  
  
  
  


Jeongyeon's not the most outgoing person in the world. Not the most social, not the most approachable.  
  
  
  
  


So, when she gets a text from _THE_ Im Nayeon, she doesn't even know where to start.  
  
  
  
  


Jeongyeon would be lying if she said she was expecting this. Heck, she wasn't even expecting Nayeon to message her again – let alone at three in the morning, – but now that she's faced with that exact situation, she doesn't know what to do.  
  
  
  
  


Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.  
  
  
  
  


Pause. Jeongyeon places her phone on her chest as she lengthily exhales. Sometimes thinking takes too much energy out of her. Too many thoughts, too many possibilities, it makes her want to shut her mind off and run away to a country that doesn't know her as _Yoo Jeongyeon_ , but as Yoo Jeongyeon. For the person she wants to be instead of the person she is.  
  
  
  
  


She seems to be doing that a lot today. Shutting her mind off.  
  
  
  
  


Tick, tock. Tick, tock. The sound of Jeongyeon's wall clock starts to fill her ears.  
  
  
  
  


She doesn't know why it's still up there, honestly. A ticking tock that you can't help but hear. But to Jeongyeon, that adds to it's appeal. Something normal people find annoying, yet are intriguing to others. It's one of the things she keeps at the back of her mind. The fact that somewhere, someone exists that she can fall in love with. That can turn her whole world around. Someone out there exists that can finally help her out of her sea of thoughts, her sea of regrets, her sea of insecurities.  
  
  
  
  


But there's a part of her that thinks she's sunk too far to be saved.  
  
  
  
  


 **BLING** , she hears again, making her remember the phone on her chest.  
  
  
  
  


 _"Right. Nayeon."_ She brings her hand down to her phone, opening it up to the lockscreen to see two additional notifications from Nayeon.  
  
  
  
  


Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. She seems to have left Nayeon on ignored for too long.  
  
  
  
  


With fear still in her heart, Jeongyeon opened up the notification.  
  
  
  
  


[ Notification from PRETTY NAYEON 💜 ]  
  
  
  
  


[3:06AM] jeongyeon?  
  
  


[3:09AM] u're probably asleep, gn!  
  
  


Nayeon? [3:10AM]  
  
  


It's late, why aren't you asleep? [3:10AM]  
  
  


[3:10AM] oh, youre awake!  
  
  


[3:10AM] o~oh you care about me? careful now, i might fall for you ;)  
  
  
  
  


 _"Or she might fall for me..."_ Jeongyeon reads, and reads, and reads again. _"...If only she knew."_  
  
  
  
  


She takes a moment to take in Nayeon's messages before replying. What does she mean by 'be careful or she might fall for her'? There's no way someone can fall in love from such a simple gesture. Not that Jeongyeon would know.  
  
  
  
  


[3:10AM] it's late for you too, you know. why are you still up?  
  
  
  
  


She pauses for a while before typing something, hitting send a few seconds after.  
  
  
  
  


Well, I can't sleep. [3:11AM]  
  
  


[3:11AM] what a coincidence, neither can i  
  
  
  
  


Jeongyeon could hear the snark in Nayeon's message. It makes her want to throw some snark back.  
  
  
  
  


Why'd you message me, Im? [3:12AM]  
  
  


[3:12AM] wow, you were so sweet to me earlier, what happened :((  
  
  


Sweet? Pft, where? [3:12AM]  
  
  


[3:13AM] right now! a couple messages ago!  
  
  


[3:13AM] can't you read, jeongie?

Pause. Jeongyeon wonders if she read that right.

Jeongie? [3:14AM]  
  
  


[3:14AM] your nickname!  
  
  


Since when? [3:14AM]  
  
  


[3:14AM] since the cafe?  
  
  


[3:14AM] jeez jeongie, are you always this slow?  
  
  
  
  


 _Jeongie_.  
  
  
  
  


She reads again, then again, then a few more times after. Not gonna lie, she's completely forgotten that Nayeon called her Jeongie then, her mind breezing over it whenever she tries to recall the meeting. It'll take a while to get used to the nickname, she'll admit. But a part of her thinks that, because it's Nayeon, she thinks it'll be worth it. Sort of.  
  
  
  
  
  


My bad, just not used to it I guess [3:15AM]  
  
  
  
  


[Pretty Nayeon 💜 is typing...]  
  
  
  
  


Seconds, minutes go by with the three dots bouncing around in the message box, but it feels like it's been an eternity.  
  
  


Up, then down, then up again, then down, then up, then down again, Jeongyeon's eyes followed those dots like her life depended on it. The fear in her heart started developing, started moving to different parts of her body. It almost reached her fingers before she finally saw a message. Before her nightmare of a scenario ended.  
  
  
  
  


[3:16AM] you really are interesting, jeongie  
  
  
  
  


...and the nightmare starts up again.  
  
  
  
  


Jeongyeon still doesn't know what that means, the exact thing that attracted Nayeon to her. She's afraid to ask at this point. She's always afraid.  
  
  
  
  


Jeongyeon doesn't remember a single moment where she wasn't afraid.  
  
  
  
  


But Jeongyeon gets the feeling that she doesn't want to be afraid anymore.  
  
  
  
  


She's gotta thank Nayeon for that some time. For giving her random surges of confidence, even if it doesn't last for long.  
  
  
  
  


I'm interesting because I don't get new nicknames often? [3:16AM]  
  
  


[3:17AM] no  
  
  


[3:17AM] well, yes  
  
  


[3:17AM] it's complicated!  
  
  
  
  


 _"Cute."_ Jeongyeon finds herself thinking. She'd like to think that Nayeon's flushed, behind the screen. Talking to her.  
  
  
  
  


If it's complicated, then you can tell me tomorrow [3:18AM]  
  
  


It's late now, you should get some sleep [3:18AM]  
  
  


[3:19AM] :0  
  
  


[3:19AM] wow jeongie, you really care about me huh? ;)  
  
  
  
  


That again. that damned... emoticon. Jeongyeon hated it. Hated everything about it.  
  
  
  
  


Maybe I just want to stop talking to you as soon as possible [3:19AM]  
  
  


[3:19AM] after our conversation in the cafe?  
  
  


[3:20AM] yeah right jeongie, we both know you can't get enough of me  
  
  
  
  


And Jeongyeon doesn't have it in her to disagree.  
  
  
  
  


Alright, alright [3:21AM]  
  
  


Sleep well, Nayeon [3:21AM]  
  
  


[3:21AM] you too, jeongie :)  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


_"Careful now, I might fall for you."_   
  
  
  
  


Jeongyeon can't stop looking at her phone, reading that message over and over. She can't tell if Nayeon's serious, joking, or somewhere in between, and it's driving her nuts. Sure, the sane decision to make would be to think she's joking, since they've only met yesterday, and they had _one_ conversation – two if you count the one over text message.  
  
  
  
  


But the other part of her is driven by the fear of having to re-live breaking someone's heart into two.  
  
  
  
  


And not because she can't fall in love, no, it's because she tried to fall in love, failed, and hurt someone in the process. Someone really important to her.  
  
  
  
  


Just not important enough for her to be feeling butterflies whenever they're around.  
  
  
  
  


"You know, Jeongyeon, I didn't invite you here just for you to look at your phone the whole time."  
  
  
  
  


And those words were enough to bring Jeongyeon back to reality.  
  
  
  
  


It's the next day now, 1:34PM, about 11 hours since her and Nayeon's conversation. The cafe, although quieter from when Jeongyeon and Nayeon met, is roughly the same. Same smell, same chairs, same beverage, she even sat at the same table she did yesterday. But now, there was a different person in front of her. A different woman, although just as popular.  
  
  


She places her phone on the table, hands under her chin, as she faces one of her childhood friends since practically _diapers_.  
  
  


"Sorry, Jihyo. What's up?"  
  
  
  
  


 **PARK JIHYO**. 3rd year film major, and childhood friends with Jeongyeon. They've been neighbors since forever ago, only separated when they absolutely have to. Although now they don't stick to each other as much as they used to, they still hang out on occassions, even though all the other does is annoy the inviter. From her beauty, to her industriousness, to her amazing leadership, it's almost like Jihyo has no flaws (no _known_ flaws, anyway). Despite their opposite personalities, their friendship is still standing strong, even after all these years.  
  
  
  
  


"You haven't watched this film, right?" Jihyo met Jeongyeon's eyes, making eye contact. "What film?"  
  
  
  
  


"This film. Bloom into You." Jihyo flicks her laptop screen twice, before placing her hand back on the keyboard.  
  
  


Jeongyeon takes a second to think. It's not like she hasn't heard of it, a popular movie adaptation of a popular manga of the same name. She can't say she's seen it though. "Bloom into you? No, I haven't."  
  
  


"Oh, good then. That helps for this assignment." She looks at Jihyo with curiosity in her eyes. "How so?"  
  
  


"We're supposed to write this so people who haven't seen the film could understand it." Less than a second later, she starts rapidly typing something. Jeongyeon realizes how intimidating film students actually are.  
  
  


"Oh, okay."  
  
  


Her voice is monotone, leaning high, and her tone is exactly _NOT_ the kind of tone that she wanted to portray. She wanted to make Jihyo hear a voice that isn't having any complications, that isn't constantly overthinking a simple text message on her phone. She wanted to finally get past Jihyo's radar.  
  
  
  
  


Unfortunately for her though, her efforts ended up getting detected.  
  
  
  
  


Jeongyeon can tell because Jihyo's eyes switched from _looking_ to _examining_. Her hand lifts from the keyboard, moves to just above her chin, and then interlocks with her other hand. Her look is stern, cold, yet caring. It all sends shivers down Jeongyeon's spine. "What's on your mind, Jeong?"  
  
  


"What do you mean?"  
  
  


"Your finger." Jihyo points to Jeongyeon's finger, bouncing rapidly. As soon as it was brought to her attention, Jeongyeon abruptly rested her finger on the table, hoping that Jihyo wouldn't press her further.  
  
  
  
  


But Jeongyeon knew hoping wouldn't lead to anything. "I'll say it again. What's on your mind, Jeong?"  
  
  


 _"What a broad question."_ Jeongyeon thinks, as she lets her mind wander.  
  
  
  
  


Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.  
  
  
  
  


 _"Be careful, I might fall for you."_ She's been rereading that one message over and over, then again, then once more. She knows it's a joke, a tease, something a friend _normally_ says to another, but she can't help but be scared.  
  
  
  
  


She can't help but think the past is gonna repeat itself.  
  
  
  
  


"Jihyo." Jeongyeon starts after a long minute of silence. She looks down, trying to avoid any and all eye contact from the other in front of her. "Do you know Im Nayeon?"  
  
  


"Im Nayeon?" She pauses for a second, trying to analyze Jeongyeon's face. "Who _doesn't_?" Jihyo's face confused, she leans forward onto the table, with her laptop still in front of her. Jeongyeon can't help but feel a tiny hint of dejá vu.  
  
  
  
  


"What if, hypothetically, I met her?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the short chapter and for the long wait. However, I am here to announce that I have a twitter! I felt bad for having you wait long for a new chapter, so hopefully this'll solve it? Partly, atleast. I also really like communicating with people who enjoy my work, as this is my first time writing, and constructive criticism and/or appreciation is very appreciated!
> 
> The user is @educmoron, and I've also made a hashtag for See Through You's important info and the like. The tag is #edm_sty, short for educmoron's See Through You!
> 
> Thank you for reading! Till we meet again!
> 
> –educmoron


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